Thankful Heart

I realize it has been way too long since my last post. Please forgive me for that. So much has happened in the past couple of months. However, I'd like this post to focus on being thankful. I attempted to get this sent out at Thanksgiving but I think it is good to be thankful at all times and seasons. What better time to express thanksgiving than during the time we celebrate God's greatest gift of all!
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given..." His Son, Jesus Christ given to any and all who would receive Him. We can indeed be thankful for this gift every day!

During this time of my life I am especially thankful for 3 things:
1. God's provision
2. God's patience
3. God's purpose

God knows our needs. He is more than able to provide. During this season of my life God has given me all that I need. He has placed it on the heart of others to help sustain me as I prepare to go to the mission field. God has allowed many people to come into my life to encourage and uplift me, as well as to challenge me and lead me to grow in godliness as my heart is "pruned" for the foreign mission field. Thank-you God for your provision!

God is patient and kind. The patience He has shown me over the past several months have overwhelmed me! I can be slow and stubborn, yet He doesn't give up on me. He continues to lead me on and assure me of the wonderful plans He has for me! As my heart struggles between the desire to stay with my family and the desire to go to Uganda, God continues to be patient, yet patiently prodding me along! He is showing me what He desires from me as well as showing me His greatness and power in ways I have not seen before. He is waiting for me to look to Him alone to meet my every need. Thank-you God for your patience!

God's purposes cannot be thwarted! His desire is for all of His children to know Him and to make Him known. I believe that He enables each of us to do this in unique ways that He has specifically designed us to do. As God has given me a deep desire to minister to orphans in Africa, I believe His purpose in this will come to pass. There are so many orphans and fatherless children in Gulu! Because of the war and the AIDs epidemic the majority of children are left to the care of a grandmother, older sibling, or other family member. They struggle to survive. God has given me the spiritual gifts of mercy and helps. I am willing to use these to serve the people there in any way that I can. While I am planning to work with the young/preschool age children, I also desire to minister to the widows as well as to be a blessing to the national leadership who are currently serving with ECM there. While I may not know yet exactly what that will look like being played out, I do trust that God has a plan and His purpose for me there will be accomplished! Thank-you God for your Purposes!

God Speaking

Call me crazy or a fool - whatever you wish but God has spoken to me loud and clear over the past couple of days. Yes, I was seeking Him quite diligently. Then, using an older gentleman, a dying grandmother, a church sermon,and a discerning friend He spoke. What did God say?

I wish I could write out the whole story but that would be a lot of reading! In a "nut shell", He said that I have allowed my fears to hold me back long enough and it is time to MOVE. He said that I don't need to be afraid of how things will work out or when but I just need to put one foot in front of the other and He will take care of the rest. He said that I can get to Uganda and still be with and love my family. In fact, it is part of my responsibility to do so. So, for now, I am going back to stay with my family.

I had been telling myself from the time I moved back to Indiana that there is no way that I will be able to make it to the mission field from here (my home). I was limiting God and His power. There are still lots of questions, some things "up in the air" in relation to my place of ministry and responsibilities there and there are many things I need to learn or grow in before I go. However, I know I am going with Every Child Ministries to Uganda, Africa. I do not know how all the "mechanics" will work out and I don't need to. I do know that my God is BIG! He is active and moving in the lives of His people today!

I would ask that you would pray this for me at this time. It is from
II Thessalonians 1:11-12 "...that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness, and the work of faith with power. That the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."

God Can Work With Messes

What I would like to be able to report is that in the past 3 months I have made significant achievements and had great success with my desire to go to Uganda. However, that would be far from the truth. What I can tell you is that I have come to realize that my personal preparation is going to take longer than I had hoped.

This summer has been one of the most difficult times of my life. Things around me seem to have gone from bad to worse. I began struggling with anxiety and depression. My Grandmother is near death, my Parent's health is declining. The good news is that all of this has kept me on my knees in prayer and helped me realize that I cannot make it without the continual help of my Heavenly Father. Several people have told me that this is normal for someone preparing to make such a huge life change. I have not only made a huge change already, moving from N.C. to Indiana but I am planning on another even greater move (to Africa) - so I had better make sure I am ready!

Some other good news is that the Lord has brought some kind and caring people to help support me physically, spiritually and emotionally here while I learn how to live in this messy life I call mine. While I do not understand everything that is happening, nor do I know what I will be doing next week let alone next month or next year, I do still firmly believe that God has a plan for me that includes ministering to orphans in Uganda in the not-to-distant future. He continues to affirm that to me in a variety of ways...through many people, His Word and the circumstances around me. This "messy" season of my life is much-needed learning and preparation time for life in Africa. Things there will be far from "ideal" and I want to be the most effective servant that I can be to do God's work for His kingdom.

For now though, I will ask for continued patience and a lot of prayer as I try and find balance in loving and caring for those around me here and now while at the same time preparing to love those whom God will lead me to in the future.

I want to Thank all of you that are supporting my calling to go and minister and care for the children of Uganda. I am so excited to go, but I must be patient and wait on God's perfect timing as He molds me into a vessel which can be used in mighty ways.

As you continue to pray, please pray for:
My Parent's health and for a loving caregiver
Mental and Emotional Restoration for me
Restoration of my computer...It's also having issues!
Financial Provision as I remain in the States (Health Insurance: Blue Cross $300 per/month)
Financial Support for the Mission Field (I have approximately 30% of my start up, as well as 20% of my monthly support)

Answers to prayer:
Godly women who are praying with me on a regular basis
A family to stay with who are supporting me with housing and food
Access to Internet and cell phone
Loving support of family and friends
The patience and understanding of Every Child Ministries as I am going through these struggles

First a Blur and then Reality Hits

Please accept my apologies for taking so long to get a new up-date out. My last month in N.C. was pretty much a blur of preparing to move and saying good-byes. Good-byes are never easy for me and I kept wanting to drag them out...."let's get together just one more time" came out of my mouth on several occasions. So, I wonder why they are called "good" byes??? I had a wonderful "send-off" from my Single's Group. I will never forget the love and support I have gotten from the Singles at RCCC. It hasn't stopped since the move either. They are awesome! I spent my final week in N.C. with the girls I have been a nanny to for the past 8 years. It was a great week! The girls gave me lots of good memories to keep with me. I tried to make it seem as though I wasn't leaving at the end of the week, for my sake as well as theirs, but we all knew the reality. They have been like family to me. To say I miss them would be an understatement.





Both of my sisters and my brother-in-law made the trek out to N.C. to retrieve me, my car, and the few belongings that I chose to keep. They are a great blessing to me! (my family, not my belongings) :o) My sister that is closest to me in age rode back in my car with me. We took turns driving and it worked out great. I also enjoyed the conversation and "sisterly bonding" time. :o)





Now I am back in Indiana. Honestly, I am still having difficulty with the adjustment. Leaving all that was familiar in my every day life, my church family, my "nannying" family, and many others whom my heart has become attached to and then moving back to my tiny hometown and living with my parents again is "different". Don't misunderstand, I am beyond thankful to be able to spend this time with my mom and dad and other family members. Plus seeing friends from schooldays is always good. However, I am learning how to live without depending on a job, computer, cell phone, etc. God is teaching me many valuable lessons that I am sure I will need on the mission field but it is not easy. What I thought I was ready for I now know I am not. So, while God "prunes" me and "refines" my heart I will wait. I have all confidence that, in the end, it will be more than worth it!

Visits With Treasured Friends

I am thankful beyond words for the wonderful visits I have had with two of my closest friends (and their families) over the past two weekends! They are the kind of friends whom you know are life-long no matter the physcial distance between you. These friends are precious, treasured, a gift unlike any other in this life.

I spent the first weekend in VA with my closest friend from college - turned roommate for 6 years! She now resides in Seattle, WA. When I am with her I can only describe it as like being "home". Like we are supposed to be together. Friends forever! (She doesn't know it yet, but I have decided to pray that she will end up in Africa with me :0) Even though she has been away for almost two years, nothing has changed between us. I was also able to spend time with her mom and grandparents who have adopted me as their "northern daughter". They are my southern family. I cannot tell you how much they have meant to me over the past twelve years.


Then, last weekend, I went to New York. 14 years ago I attended Word of Life Bible Institute in Schroon Lake, NY and met my BFF. She was one of my first roommates (there were four of us in a room). We connected instantly! We did everything together. I can't imagine how my first year away from home would have been without her. She is a God-send, even to this day! We have stayed in touch on a regular basis. It had been nearly 5 years since I last saw her. She has been married for 4 years now and I was able to meet her husband. He "fit in" with us perfectly! Lucky for him ;o) I am also praying that these two will end up in Africa with me. It is not as unlikely as you may think, since her husband is from Kenya. Her family has also adopted me. I was able to spend time with her mom, sister and niece too.



What amazingly wonderful weekends! I am blessed! Time with loved ones is a gift. I will treasure it always.

Why Africa?

Why did I choose Africa? Why not stay and help children in America? They surely need it! Why not go to Haiti? Why Africa? I have been asked these kind of questions on several different occasions. The answer is - I didn't choose it. In a way, it chose me! Actually, I had hoped to go to Asia and work with orphans there. I had heard about all of the girls that were unwanted and abandoned or placed into orphanages. I also had a few good Asian friends in college whom I really connected with. I would have loved to go and visit their country. So, I thought that Asia may be a good place for me. I attempted to go on a mission trip to Asia two different times with my church. Both times there were circumstances beyond my control and I was unable to go.

Then, nearly 6 years ago, in the fall of 2004, I was sitting in church minding my own business when they announced that there would be a Kenya mission trip meeting after the 2nd service. I had never in my life even entertained the idea of going to Africa. Actually, I hadn't thought of it either negatively or positively. I just never thought of it. Nonetheless, that day after the 2nd service I found myself sitting in a room full of people discussing the Kenya mission trip that would take place the following January, 2005. After that things just fell into place, literally. All of the funds came rolling in, everywhere I looked I saw God's hand moving me to go to Africa. I did not understand exactly why I was going, but I went. Am I glad I did! It was from that time on that my heart has been in Africa. I knew when I returned that I would go back again. I did go on another mission trip to Zambia, Africa in July of 2008. Then again, upon that return I knew I would go back and here I go! Lord willing, I will be in Uganda by August of this year. I am teaming up with Every Child Ministries (E.C.M.) to work with the orphans and war-effected children there. Please check out E.C.M.'s website when you get a chance. It is a wonderful Christian organization dedicated to reach every child in Africa with real help and a living hope! http://www.ecmafrica.org/


So, all of that being said. Why Africa? I believe that God has ordained it to be!

A tarantula? In the house? Really Lord???

It has taken me awhile to start "blogging" and I will tell you why. Honestly, I am a quiet, private person (as many of you know) and it is hard for me to throw my inner thoughts out there for all to see. However, I desire to share all that God has done and is doing to lead and get me to Uganda with all who care to know. Truly, I am excited about this giant new step of faith I am about to embarq on! I know that the Lord is bringing about something wonderful in Northern Uganda as the people are beginning to be restored and healed after the 20+ years of war they have endured. BUT today, as I was reading the blog of one of my teammates who is currently living in the house where I will be living in a few months, I saw something that "threw" me! Yes, it was a tarantula - in the house! Previously I had read about invasions of Geckos, mice, malaria infested mosquitoes, (of course) and even a poisonous snake. None of those would I enjoy having as house guests but still, I was relatively unmoved. Now enter the tarantula...I am well known for having arachnaphobia. So, I am thinking, "a tarantula, in the house, where I will be living, really Lord"??? Yes, I am still planning to go. I don't know what will happen if I come face to face with one of these since neither my dad or my current roommate/spider slayer will be with me. Thus my giant step of faith has just become a COLOSSUS step of faith!